Seriously seeking, Susan
August 31st 2006 22:43
Ahhhhh! That bird is annoying. It's only 5am. Probably the same kind calling for a mate that they talked about on TV - annoying the whole of Sydney this spring.
That's right.
Hello, you're back again?
(No answer.)
Who are you? Are you God, Jesus, my authentic self, or just me in my own mind?
(Still no answer.)
Anyway I know you're there. You're not normally there. I mean, I only hear you when I'm half awake, and only on some mornings, some weeks not at all.
That's right.
I like talking with you, you seem to make things clearer to me somehow.
What would you like to be clearer on right now?
Well. How about Lil Siss? I've known her for two years since we met through RSVP.
Why do you call her Lil Siss?
Because she said she wasn't romantically inclined but wanted a friendship, being pretty much alone in Australia. So I said "Okay, you can be my sister", because I'm an immigrant lacking family here too. That was two years ago and we've met for coffee once a month ever since.
You're worried about what to tell her about how it went for you with Match.com?
Yes.
Just tell her the truth. Of the 20 women you got to email, you saw seven and ended up with one new friend from it.
Yes, Susan. She's like another sister. This time it was the other way around. She saw that I wasn't romantically inclined, but she still wanted to develop a friendship.
So now you have two sisters in Australia.
Yep. But I don't call Susan a sister. She's somehow closer than that. When she phones we can talk for hours, sometimes from 10pm to 2am. That's like you and me. We can talk for hours too, although it's in the morning.
Yes.
Whose the more real, you or her?
She's real, isn't she? She's flesh and blood.
Yes, but our contact is only on the phone once a week. I haven't been with her since she told me about her new friend met through Match.com - David - where there is romance or something like that.
But still she keeps in touch with you.
Yes, weekly. And I'm very grateful. I told her so last phone call. When we finished the call, I said: "Thanks, Susan, for being so big and developing me as a friend, despite David".
So this is what you're going to tell Lil Siss, when she asks you about what came from Match.com. Anything else that you'd like to talk about? It's still early.
Yes. Last night I got an email from Orble's new person noting that I haven't made a new blog for a fortnight. Jasmine wrote that Chatterpillar is really good and I ought to write some more.
Do you think it's a good blog?
Yes. But I'm not satisfied because there hasn't been any feedback apart from by Orble.
So what makes you resume blogging with this new one this morning?
Hope.
What sort of hope?
Same sort that made me join Match.com in Easter and RSVP two years ago.
Good.
Why do you say "good".
Because you have Susan as a new friend since Match.com and Lil Siss from RSVP. New friends in your lonely life are good.
But I hate just writing and not get back any response. I hoped I'd get responses by asking Susan to read Chatterpillar - and that guy I hit it off with so well at the hospital this week. But neither has come back with any sort of comment. I thought they would especially enjoy the blog about meeting on the town hall steps, because they have both been in RSVP.
Jasmine implied there are plenty who did enjoy your blogs but haven't made a comment.
I just want to put out and see what comes back.
What if nothing comes back?
I guess I'll just get discouraged and stop blogging again.
I'll help you so you don't get discouraged.
What!
How?
Like I did this morning, in helping you write this blog.
Promise?
That's up to you, you have to seek me out.
But I'm not even sure whether you are real. This might just be a wank going on in my own mind. Probably is.
If you take me seriously, then I'll take you seriously. Haven't I shown that just now?
That would make you reliable like Susan who calls me once a week. Just as reliable, maybe even just as real.
You figure it out. Now scan through what you've typed. Make any improvements. Then leave the blog alone. Check it only for spelling later in the day before you post it on to Chatterpillar.
That's right.
Hello, you're back again?
(No answer.)
Who are you? Are you God, Jesus, my authentic self, or just me in my own mind?
(Still no answer.)
Anyway I know you're there. You're not normally there. I mean, I only hear you when I'm half awake, and only on some mornings, some weeks not at all.
That's right.
I like talking with you, you seem to make things clearer to me somehow.
Well. How about Lil Siss? I've known her for two years since we met through RSVP.
Why do you call her Lil Siss?
Because she said she wasn't romantically inclined but wanted a friendship, being pretty much alone in Australia. So I said "Okay, you can be my sister", because I'm an immigrant lacking family here too. That was two years ago and we've met for coffee once a month ever since.
You're worried about what to tell her about how it went for you with Match.com?
Yes.
Just tell her the truth. Of the 20 women you got to email, you saw seven and ended up with one new friend from it.
Yes, Susan. She's like another sister. This time it was the other way around. She saw that I wasn't romantically inclined, but she still wanted to develop a friendship.
So now you have two sisters in Australia.
Yep. But I don't call Susan a sister. She's somehow closer than that. When she phones we can talk for hours, sometimes from 10pm to 2am. That's like you and me. We can talk for hours too, although it's in the morning.
Yes.
Whose the more real, you or her?
Yes, but our contact is only on the phone once a week. I haven't been with her since she told me about her new friend met through Match.com - David - where there is romance or something like that.
But still she keeps in touch with you.
Yes, weekly. And I'm very grateful. I told her so last phone call. When we finished the call, I said: "Thanks, Susan, for being so big and developing me as a friend, despite David".
So this is what you're going to tell Lil Siss, when she asks you about what came from Match.com. Anything else that you'd like to talk about? It's still early.
Yes. Last night I got an email from Orble's new person noting that I haven't made a new blog for a fortnight. Jasmine wrote that Chatterpillar is really good and I ought to write some more.
Do you think it's a good blog?
Yes. But I'm not satisfied because there hasn't been any feedback apart from by Orble.
So what makes you resume blogging with this new one this morning?
Hope.
What sort of hope?
Same sort that made me join Match.com in Easter and RSVP two years ago.
Good.
Why do you say "good".
Because you have Susan as a new friend since Match.com and Lil Siss from RSVP. New friends in your lonely life are good.
But I hate just writing and not get back any response. I hoped I'd get responses by asking Susan to read Chatterpillar - and that guy I hit it off with so well at the hospital this week. But neither has come back with any sort of comment. I thought they would especially enjoy the blog about meeting on the town hall steps, because they have both been in RSVP.
Jasmine implied there are plenty who did enjoy your blogs but haven't made a comment.
I just want to put out and see what comes back.
What if nothing comes back?
I guess I'll just get discouraged and stop blogging again.
I'll help you so you don't get discouraged.
What!
How?
Like I did this morning, in helping you write this blog.
Promise?
That's up to you, you have to seek me out.
But I'm not even sure whether you are real. This might just be a wank going on in my own mind. Probably is.
If you take me seriously, then I'll take you seriously. Haven't I shown that just now?
That would make you reliable like Susan who calls me once a week. Just as reliable, maybe even just as real.
You figure it out. Now scan through what you've typed. Make any improvements. Then leave the blog alone. Check it only for spelling later in the day before you post it on to Chatterpillar.
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Comment by annomous
How's things.
It's the guy from the hospital, I assume it me you mean anyway. Sorry I've been a bit slow getting back. Oh yes, when you give people the address to this site, it's .net not .com. Hope you're having a good weekend.
Catch ya later